What is Self-Harm?
Self-Harm is the act of deliberate self-injury as a way of trying to manage emotional and psychological distress and can become a habitual response to distress rather than a one-off act.
Self-Harm is not necessarily an expression of suicidal impulse and motivation, but may be a way of coping with distress and intense psychological/emotional discomfort. Sometimes however, self-harming behaviour can escalate into suicidal behaviour and intention, and can result in significant injury or death.
Self -harming behaviours include:
- Cutting the skin.
- Overdosing (tablets/alcohol/drugs).
- Placing and tightening a ligature around the neck.
- Causing burns on the skin.
- Inserting sharp objects into the body.
- Punching a wall / oneself.
- Picking or scratching the skin (can be a compulsive/OCD behaviour).
- Hair-pulling (eyelashes/hair/eyebrows) (can be a compulsive/OCD behaviour
- Taking unnecessary risks with one’s safety.
Why do people harm themselves?
For many people self-harm provides a means by which they can try to manage emotional and psychological experiences (historic and current) which feel intolerable and which they cannot express in any other way.
Self-harming behaviour usually begins in adolescence but can also occur in younger children and in adulthood
Self-harm is a way of communicating a need for support for some people, and for others, it is a private or hidden act.
Some people find that the sensation of self-injury produces a temporary experience of calm as well as some relief from a profound feeling of numbness or dissociation that can occur when they are overwhelmed - often described as feeling as though they don’t exist. Any stressful event can provoke the experience of overwhelm for some people and the only way they have to try to manage this can be by causing themselves harm, for example, by cutting their skin.
The physical experience of pain can cause the release of chemicals in the body called endorphins. These chemicals can produce a brief feeling of wellbeing which relieves pain and distress temporarily.
Once the relief subsides, the person who has self-harmed might feel a mixture of guilt, shame or self-hatred. Often they feel as though they have failed in some way, or that they should be able to manage ‘like everyone else does’.
Drinking alcohol or taking drugs reduce inhibitions and so can increase the likelihood of self-harm.
There are also times of the day when a person who self-harms feels more vulnerable and therefore more likely to hurt themselves: often the end of the day/night-time, when it is dark can feel like a lonely time - the events of the day pile up and over-thinking things that have happened earlier in the day can intensify; the early hours when most people are still asleep, or the person has just woken up, can also amplify anxious and/or painful emotion, and feel overwhelming. When there are fewer distractions around, self-harming can, for some people feel like the quickest and most effective option for managing their psychological and emotional discomfort.
How can you support yourself?
If you have a trusted friend or family member it might be worth talking with them about your self-harm. It is worth holding in mind that often people find self-harm difficult to understand. You don’t have to explain or justify your actions, but it might be helpful to let them know what is helpful to you if you are able to identify this.
Phoning a support or help-line is another option (see details at end of this leaflet). Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone you don’t know and who you feel is neutral.
Seek support from a service such as Cambridge University Staff Counselling Centre (USCC – contact details at the end of this leaflet). The counsellors here are familiar with self-harming behaviour and working with people who are trying to manage this and the underlying issues that cause it.
Sometimes other kinds of experience can provide some relief instead of self-harm – a brief walk/run in cold weather or rain; a cold shower; exercise or physical activity. But take care of yourself while you do this, if you decide to try it as an alternative – the important thing is to keep yourself safe and well.
It might be helpful to try to find a physical focus for your pain or discomfort and to use some mindful breathing while you hold awareness of that physical focus.
How to support someone who self-harms
It can be difficult for others to understand self-harming behaviour – it can feel alarming to hear or see that someone they are close to, has hurt themselves deliberately. It is important to be aware that the reactions another person has to their self-harm, matter to the person who is self-harming. Another person’s fear or revulsion can feel very rejecting or make the self-harming person feel guilty. This can increase and intensify the discomfort that has led to the self-harm in the first place.
Trying to talk someone out of self-harm will not necessarily work. The decision not to self-harm needs to be taken by the person themselves and will be made more possible if they can experience some understanding and acceptance that while their behaviour does not make sense to others, it is, nonetheless, their way of coping for the time being.
It is helpful to enable the person who self-harms to keep themselves safe –encouraging them to use clean blades; encouraging them to have clean dressings available when necessary, seeking medical attention.
Providing support such as keeping them company while they are feeling overwhelmed, can help a person tolerate their experience without having to self-harm.
Where to seek more help
Help and Support:
Sometimes outside support is needed to help you make positive changes. You may need to try a few different things to find what works for you, and combine self-help techniques with professional support:
For urgent support/NHS 111: First Response Service (FRS)
https://www.cpft.nhs.uk/service-detail/service/first-response-service-frs-21/
GP
Often a first step to asking for help and discussing your issues confidentially including possible treatment options including on-going referral and/or medication options.
Talking therapies
Talking with a professional therapist trained to listen with empathy and acceptance.
How to find a therapist:
https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/using-our-therapist-directory/
https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/
Support Groups
Regular meetings with others who have similar experiences to you.
Online support
A support option if you don't feel ready to see someone face to face.
NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/self-harm/getting-help/
Harmless: https://harmless.org.uk/who-we-are/
Treatment for Scars (Self-Harm)
Some people feel that scars from self-harm are an important part of their journey, while others would prefer not to have them. Treatments are available for covering and reducing scarring.
https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/
Cambridge Samaritans
116 123 (free from any phone) | 0330 094 5717 (local call charges apply)
www.samaritans.org/branches/cambridge/
Email: jo@samaritans.org (response time 24 hrs)
Staff Counselling Centre:
https://staff.counselling.cam.ac.uk/
If you are experiencing suicidal ideation, or you are self-harming, and you would like to talk to someone confidentially, you can access one-to-one counselling at the University Staff Counselling Centre to talk more about your experiences and explore options that might be helpful.
The Service is both free and confidential.