Loneliness describes the feeling that arises when a person’s emotional, psychological and social needs for relationship are not being met on a day to day basis. A person might have relationships with others but still feel lonely because the quality of those relationships does not meet their needs for intimacy and connection.
Being lonely is different to being alone. A person has a choice to their solitude whereas loneliness is usually not chosen.
Social isolation refers to a lack of connection or contact with a person’s community or available networks. A person can manage their feelings of social isolation by increasing the number of people they are in contact with.
Socially isolated people may lack friends or close work colleagues, and may often feel lonely, anxious, or depressed, and may suffer from low self-esteem.
What causes loneliness and social isolation?
There are many reasons that can lead to a person feeling lonely or socially isolated, often connected to changes in their personal circumstances: changing jobs; bereavement; physical or mental health issues; the ending of a relationship; retirement/redundancy; relocating to a new area/country; friends or family moving away.
These changes, whether planned or unplanned, can generate or intensify a sense of loneliness and/or social isolation.
Is loneliness a mental health problem?
Feeling lonely isn’t necessarily a mental health problem, but having a mental health problem can increase feelings of loneliness. For example, a person with depression, who is experiencing a decline in their mental wellbeing, may find themselves withdrawing from friends and family and may become increasingly lonely, which, in turn, may further negatively impact their mental wellbeing.
Who might be more vulnerable to feeling lonely and socially isolated?
People whose circumstances might make them more vulnerable to loneliness or social isolation:
- single parents or carers.
- people belonging to minority groups who live in an area without others from a similar background.
- people who have a limited understanding of the English language.
- people excluded from social activities due to mobility problems.
- people in financial hardship.
- people discriminated against due to disability/long-term health problems including mental health problems.
- people facing discrimination due to gender, race or sexual orientation.
- people who have experienced abuse in their relationships causing them to find it difficult to form close relationships with others.
- people who have been excluded from family and other social activities due to addictions.
- people who have lost a loved one.
Here are some things that might help
- Take one step at a time and pace yourself - sometimes it can be hard to think about trying to meet new people or opening up to people for the first time. Try not to engage in too many new experiences to begin with as this could feel difficult to manage and might become overwhelming.
- Connect- try to connect to social groups (joining an existing group or setting up a new group), and/or interest/hobby groups. www.meetup.com is a national website that can locate social groups in your area or enable you to create a new group.
- Peer support- there are many different types of peer support service, which provide people with a space to use their own experiences to help and support each other. Here are a few contact details that are available at Cambridge University:
Post Doc Academy: www.postdocacademy.cam.ac.uk
Newcomers and Visiting Scholars (NVS): www.nvs.admin.cam.ac.uk
Accessibility and Disability Resource Centre: www.disability.admin.cam.ac.uk
Race Equality Network at Cambridge: www.race-equality.admin.cam.ac.uk/ren
LGBTQ+ Network: https://www.equality.admin.cam.ac.uk/diversity-networks/lgbt-staff-network
Other useful contact details:
Side by Side: our online community - Mind
https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk/
Carers support
https://www.cpft.nhs.uk/carers/
https://www.caringtogether.org
https://makingspace.co.uk
- Try to open up. Knowing plenty of people doesn’t necessarily mean you feel close to them. If confiding in a friend or family member is not possible, then you might find speaking with a therapist or using a peer support service helpful.
- Try to avoid comparing yourself with others, especially on social media which can be misleading as people are often selective about what they share, focusing on positives only.
- Look after yourself. Feeling lonely can be stressful and can have a negative impact on your mental wellbeing.
Try to get enough sleep.
Try to eat healthily.
Try to exercise.
Spend time with pets (perhaps borrow a pet, dog walking or cat sitting).
Avoid drugs and alcohol. - Talking therapies allow you to explore and understand feelings of loneliness and can help you develop constructive ways of addressing them.
Where to seek more help
If you feel you have tried various things without success and you continue to feel lonely, you can access individual counselling at the University Staff Counselling Centre to talk more about your experiences and options that might help.
Cambridgeshire County Council has information on its website, including further support and community activities: Tackling loneliness and social isolation - Cambridgeshire County Council:
Wavelength: Fighting loneliness with Cambridge Women’s Aid:
Web of Loneliness: An online community and website which provides information and tips on loneliness. Also allows users to share artwork and poetry.